imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

image

so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

(Source: your-scallywag)

Anonymous:
This is gonna sound so stupid but what is a fuckboy? lol

rememberingsuunday:

fuckboy symptoms:

  • timothy over here askin’ for nudes when all u did was say hello
  • connor who won’t calm down with his axe spray tryna infect ya lungs
  • colin adding #420 to his bio when he smoked weed one time
  • gregory mad cause u didn’t blow him after the first date

how to spot a fuckboy:

  • white nike tube socks with his adidas sandals
  • he wants to play 20 questions (!!!!!!!!! do not play !!!!!!!!!!! especially if there’s a “;)” involved)
  • relies on his mom but doesn’t respect women
  • looks like he just read one of jaden smith’s tweets in all of his selfies
  • can’t find the clitoris

fuckboys come in all shapes and sizes and results may vary but when he a fuckboy…he a fuckboy…and u will know

,,

maccas run

ancient australian proverb (via telescopics)

roseisreturning:

mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths

(Source: acebethchilds)

pandaspwnz:

farfrompaid:

You not finding me attractive is not going to stop me from being attractive.

I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU KEEP THIS MINDSET YOU WILL GET SOOO MUCH CONFIDENCE